Picking pecans leads to picking my own brain.

How do you define happiness? When you were making plans for your life, setting goals, and starting out to achieve them were they remotely close to where you find yourself now?

Such were the thoughts bouncing around in my head as I picked through pecans. Repetitive behavior allows for the body to become automated and the brain to just wander. I find myself at a crossroads. Where do I go now from this point? In a matter of seven weeks I will have finally acquired my bachelors degree in Criminal Justice. I had plans to go straight into Pat Thomas Law Enforcement Academy; however, with now being on Beta blockers on a daily basis this has now proven to be a no go. So now what?

I have decided that I will pursue a research project. Hooray! And I will be pursuing a Masters degree! Hooray again! What school? How am I going to pay for it? I would love to have a job now. Hundreds of applications sent to all sorts of different agencies and various levels of government. Health Insurance, money for daycare, our own home, fix the vehicles, savings account, college fund for the offspring, does everyone get this overwhelming, daunting list pressing down on them daily? Am I going in the right direction and what is best for my family? Ugh. Some days it just seems all too much to bear. And then other days I feel like I am not being proactive enough. All of these things while picking through pecans to help make ends meet.
Here's to you Carya illinoinensis (Pecan)